Dating in Your Twenties: Fun or Epic Fail?
So as a twenty-something I realized that in my early twenties I had a super power that a number of older women do not have and that power was the ability to not care!
A collegiate atmosphere is surreal for both males and females allowance of an array of seemingly endless dating options, yet there are still feelings somewhere in there, right? I mean I remember having them, but still had the ability to not care.
As I get older and join the ranks of those whom I thought to be the “older” gals, I notice that my powers are fainting…. I look around and more and more of my girlfriends are getting picked off by their soon-to-be hubbies one by one. But meanwhile I and a number of other dolls remain on the dating scene.
This observation brings me to my question: is dating in your twenties, fun or an epic fail?
I asked a few women from various backgrounds and ages what they thought and here’s what they had to say:
“I honestly think dating becomes an epic fail when women in their 20’s go after guys in their 20’s (cause them dudes usually be on different ish). In general, I try not to get myself too jaded and I like to think that my negative feelings about dating now come from my (1)-bad location, and (2)-recent break-up.”
-OooLALA, L.A.
“Sometimes I really just hate the dating scene in DC, but I would not necessarily say that it is an epic fail. Our twenties are supposed to be about experiences, lessons, adventures, and trials when it comes to jobs, life, or even relationships. Although it may suck at times, we really end up finding out more about ourselves and others, which prepare us for the more serious relationships down the road….My advice, would be to not take yourself too seriously and not letting your career or ambitions get in the way of your romantic life. Also understand that most young professionals in DC are focused on their careers, therefore it’s a constant struggle to balance ambition and romance. So let’s stop looking at the failing rate of relationships in DC… and instead focus on the fact that we are here to have a good time.”
-MissTwentySomething, D.C.
“Yes, dating in your 20s is fun. But it becomes significantly less fun once you are closer to 30 and the quality (and quantity) of people you meet diminishes. Also by 27-29 you’ve been there done that - so the experience as a whole is sort of stale. That being said when you meet someone you like and everything clicks in the right way - it’s always a fresh and exciting thing - at any age.”
-Chi-City, Chicago
I do believe that dating in your twenties can be fun, but as we get older it becomes more of balancing act as you have read from most of these ladies asked this same question. Whether, it is career and time or feelings, desires, and reality, there is a delicate dance we must do to hold it all together and maintain perspective.
It is personal belief that the dating game for women is about numbers. Now not numbers in the same sense that it is typically thought of for men, but instead to get closer to what you want or to get all that you want you may have to seek out those qualities from a few individuals all at once. This can go really well or it can go bad if you don’t know how to…. (Throat clear) dance!
Follow these steps that I have learned along the way to keep the fun going in dating and to avoid failure. (Disclaimer: this advice will work if your guy(s) are not complete paper gangsta[1]—see definition)
1. Do not sleep with any guy you date until you have some commitment from him. Realize that men will tell you anything that you want to hear if it gets them closer to what they want! Holding out will allow real feelings to develop and sift out the real from the fake.
2. Do not be too available. Just to be clear this advice is not necessarily aimed at playing games but instead to keep the man’s interest. Men do not desire anything that does not pose a challenge to them. So don’t become their “Yes Man”, but remember ladies keep it soft. This brings me to my next point…
3. Keep the sass to a minimum. Instead of giving them the heat or the sharpness of your tongue that they so very much deserve, it’s better to just ignore them. Or as they say just cut things short and they will all come back for more.
4. Last but not least remember your worth. Man wants to drive that Maserati, but cannot afford the upkeep….need I say more on that topic.
In closing I believe that we all can develop or restore our super powers that we once had before we entered the real world, but it takes will power. So instead of sweating all the details just roll with it and just see what happens.
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